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Further to Derek Leverington’s comments over on FIR #64 re ‘Podcast Anxiety’, I realised that we have the potential for a whole new raft of psychological illnesses, for which I, as someone trained in the black arts of psychology, am perfectly placed to offer support and counselling. For a modest renumeration, of course.
I shall be submitting to the editors of the DSM-IV, the world’s recognised handbook of psychiatric illnesses, the following traumatic mental illnesses:
. Post Traumatic Podcast Disorder - the shock of realising that podcasters are allowed to swear in front of and to their audience and can get away with it; this is a condition most often associated with parents realising that their children subscribe to the Dawn & Drew Show
. Podcast Withdrawal Syndrome - the psychological terror associated with the loss of function of one’s mp3 player, the mild version of which can be treated by emergency crews armed with rechargeable AAA batteries
. Hyper Attention Podcast Disorder - the lack of focus to one’s tasks caused by listening to podcasts instead of concentrating on, for example, driving, writing a report, or washing up. Predominantly associated with men rather than women, it appears that sufferers find difficulty in completing more than one task at once when listening to podcasts.
. Podcast Humouritis - the tendency of listeners to podcasts to laugh out loud at inappropriate moments or locations, for example when on a crowded bus or in the reading room at the library.
And finally
. Podcast Anxiety - as already researched by my highly esteemed colleague Professor Leverington, and replicated by my erstwhile colleague Dr Hobson, this condition is caused by having too many podcasts backed up in one’s media player and a lack of time to listen to them. Treatment can include enforced holidays, and depending on one’s gender and preferences, repeated sessions of massage therapy by either dusky handmaidens or toned and burly Swedish masseuses named Sven
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donna papacosta 09.04.05 at 5:04 am
Lee, this is brilliant, and very true! Just the other day I was breaking out in a sweat wondering how on earth I could listen to all the podcasts backed up on my iRiver. I think I shall search out a Sven! Thanks for the tip!
Cheers,
Donna
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