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Courtesy of my good friend Bruce, some gems of auto-reply messages that have come across the desk of he and his friends over the years.
1. I am currently out at a job interview and will reply to you if I fail to get the position. Be prepared for my mood.
2. You are receiving this automatic notification because I am out of the office. If I was in, chances are you wouldn’t have received anything at all.
3. I will be unable to delete all the unread, worthless emails you send me until I return from holiday on 4th April. Please be patient and your mail will be deleted in the order it was received.
4. Thank you for your email. Your credit card has been charged $4.00 for the first ten words and $1.95 for each additional word in your message.
5. The e-mail server is unable to verify your server connection and is unable to deliver this message. Please restart your computer and try sending again. (The beauty of this is that when you return, you can see how many in-duh-viduals did this over and over).
6. Thank you for your message, which has been added to a queuing system… You are currently in 352nd place, and can expect to receive a reply in approximately 19 weeks.
7. I’ve run away to join a different circus.
and finally, the one that just cracks me up:
8. I will be out of the office for the next 2 weeks for medical reasons… When I return, please refer to me as ‘Alice’ instead of ‘Allan’.
{ 1 comment… read it below or add one }
Paull Young 10.04.06 at 11:20 am
Here’s my auto-response from a recent weekend away:
This weekend I’m headed to Wee Waa – deep in cotton country in northwest NSW. Thanks to Telstra and the despicable state of Internet penetration in the bush, I won’t be checking emails. It will also be rare that I’ll have mobile phone service in this neck of the woods. You could try sending a carrier pigeon… but odds are it’d be killed an eaten by a wedge-tailed eagle, red-belly black snake or funnel web spider. I’ll respond to your message on Monday.
It definitely worried some US folk who tried to get in touch with me…